Sometimes we just need to laugh while watching a horror slasher, like 2007’s absurdist Botched, a fun B-Movie full of splatter and humor.
Our heroic ( more or less) protagonist is young Ritchie, a professional thief whom we see from the get-go pull off a rich diamond heist, only to lose it all during a stupid car accident.
So he has to return empty-handed to his boss, Mr. Groznyi, who is furious at the lost profit and offers Ritchie another chance to pay him back.
With accomplices Peter and Yuri, they must get to the top floor of a large building in central Moscow and steal a valuable gold cross, an ancient family heirloom of the owners.
Despite the unlikely accomplices, one very stupid and the other very violent, the heist succeeds, but once again, the problem is escape.
Indeed, as they try to get out, the thieves and a motley group of strangers are stranded on an utterly unoccupied floor as the elevator doors close behind them.
Peter immediately levels his rifle on the others, taking them hostage while using a guard’s radio to try to negotiate with the police, threatening to kill them if they do not let them escape.
When he agrees to leave a hostage, the elevator opens, and someone cuts off the poor man’s head before he realizes what is happening.
They also notice a blood-covered, sword-wielding madman roaming the corridors, convinced that he is a descendant of Ivan the Terrible and likes to rip off the skin of his enemies to make pictures to hang on the walls.
Getting out of the building then becomes a matter of life and death as they discover that even among the hostages, someone is just as crazy as the mad psychopathic butcher.
Enjoyable and precious low-budget horror
Botched is a grotesque and funny movie, one of those wholesome and righteous low budgets of 2007 that can also offer constant creepiness and suspense despite the fact that we don’t take it seriously for a second.
I don’t know much about Kit Ryan‘s filmography, yet he perfectly keeps together a rather odd horror-comedy that’s not easily forgotten, with a few but effective twists spiced with black and blood-red humor.
So the more sensitive among you are warned: the violence is not easy in the various head and limb cuts, elegant tapestries of human skin decorating the interiors and refrigerators full of victims’ guts, in the name of the most extreme and ignorant splatter you can look for.
Yet the experience is never terrifying but rather intended to be an unpredictable ride that manages to have its own personality distinct from the thousand slasher specimens of the horror genre.
The best side is the group of victims must fight together in the usual trap of these movies, none of whom are the familiar heroes who solve every problem in the most unlikely ways, but rather are a collection of stupid and clueless people who, when they do something make their situation even worse.
Even the bizarre plot manages to be exciting and provocative in the appropriate 90-minute runtime, leaving no dull moments and filling every moment with a character who always does something nice or horrible, while, of course, the survivor count drops in scene after scene.
However, the direction feels like a good parody of the horror genre without ever becoming cruel, sadistic, or vulgar; making Botched the perfect choice for a cheerful evening with friends; always assuming no one is sensitive to the sight of blood.
Simple but effective as the protagonists
Besides the blood mood and splatter everywhere, the characters are an intriguing group of hostages, hapless thieves, and the ever-present psychopaths killing mercilessly on disco music rhythm.
Stephen Dorff is, as usual, an excellent leading man, who to me seems in many scenes to be holding back a laugh and trying to keep a straight face in the atmosphere of general dementia.
However, the actor maintains the right cool and aloof demeanor, never being too strong or weak, and also finds time for a wacky love story with the beautiful Anna, an employee who enters the elevator at the wrong moment.
The latter is the young and sexy Jaime Murray, whom I fondly remember as one of the most exciting characters in the Dexter series, capable of being uncanny and endearing with her strange beauty far from traditional standards.
Helping (shall we say) in the Dorff robbery is an odd couple of brothers, Peter and Yuri, played by Jamie Foreman and Russell Smith, respectively; the former a violent criminal who can’t wait to shoot anyone, while the latter a naive and helpless boy who just wants to eat his sandwich in peace.
We close the group of survivors with the alpha male (so he says at least) security guard Boris, played by Geoff Bell; definitely the funniest character of the whole bunch, who bravely (or stupidly?) keeps fighting even without a hand.
Of course, then we have the villains who are the ultra-exalted religious Bronagh Gallagher and the psychopath dressed as a Viking Edward Baker-Duly; also idiots most of the time, although they convey the right amount of creepiness and give their characters more than enough cruel power as evil antagonists.
I certainly don’t want you to think that Botched is a perfect movie, far from it, but it manages to entertain consistently without cracking with laughter but flows without tedious, and entertains by establishing an excellent example of a splatter comedy that made a good impression around the various horror festivals of 2007. Need more?
